review
There are many books explaining dementia. But how do you explain it to a child if it is dealing with dementia, for example with grandfather or grandmother. In early dementia, a person usually starts to show strange behavior, the person will increasingly forget. At a certain point the grandfather in this story no longer recognizes his grandchild Melle. He says he’s nobody’s grandfather at all. Fortunately, Melle’s parents told their son in time what was going on with grandpa. Although of course it remains terribly difficult when someone you love no longer recognizes you. Melle’s grandfather moves into a nursing home and Melle visits regularly. With a viewing box he manages to reconnect with his grandfather and it looks a bit like the old days.
Data from the book Mijn lieve forgetopa
- Text: Ilona Lammertink
- Drawings: Els Vermeltfoort
- Publisher: Clavis
- Year: 2017
- Pages: 28 (unnumbered)
- Cover: hard cover
- ISBN: 978 90 448 2889 4
- Genre: children’s book, picture book
- Suitable for: children between the ages of four and seven
- Price: 14.95 euros (via the Bol.com site)
Ilona Lammertink
Ilona Lammertink is an integrative child therapist in 2020. Integrative child therapy can be described as a short and intensive form of psychotherapy (an effective conversation treatment method for mental disorders and problems) for children between the ages of four and twelve with social and emotional difficulties. Other books by Ilona Lammertink: Then I just say no (learn to say no), I am too small for that secret (about abuse), What are you good at ?, My daddy is on your mom, Gijs and his hurzels (about dealing with anger), From swapping comes crying, Don’t be so fussy (about closing out and daring to be yourself).
Els Vermeltfoort
Els loved drawing as a child and she eventually turned her hobby into her profession. In 1984 she graduated from the art academy in Den Bosch in the direction of illustrative design. After graduation she started working as a freelance illustrator. Don’t just think of picture books, but also educational books, reading books and magazines. In addition to illustrating, Els gives drawing lessons in 2020 and provides workshops on illustrating in schools.
Explanation of the theme (two pages after the story)
After the story there are two pages entitled: Dementia explained to children. It discusses the effect on children of a loved one with dementia, feelings that can occur, common fears in children, symptoms by which you recognize that something is wrong with a child. Finally, tips are given to parents, for example that it is important to talk to a child, that you should explain things with concrete examples.
The story
Melle takes the train to his grandfather and grandmother, along with his mother. His mother and grandmother go shopping for a day and Melle can stay with grandfather. Melle is very fond of his grandfather. His grandfather used to be a captain on a large ship and he has traveled all over the world. Grandpa Kaptein can tell wonderful stories about the journeys. Grandpa has a shed at the back of the garden. Grandpa paints there and on the walls hang paintings of cargo boats, sailing boats on a raging sea and enormous ships with small windows. There is also a painting of a cat that grandpa once found on a cargo boat: Little Sailor. On a large map, Grandpa has indicated with pins where he has been. Grandpa tells beautiful stories and when a story is over, Grandpa sings a beautiful song. When Melle asks Grandpa how he can remember everything so well, Grandpa says that he has stored all his memories safely in a treasure room in his head.
A few weeks later Melle and grandpa go to the deer park. Grandpa eats the bread on what is meant for the deer. Melle thinks Grandpa is joking. When they go back to Grandma and Grandma’s house, Grandpa doesn’t seem to know how to walk anymore. Fortunately, they run into Melle’s grandmother and mother. Melle’s father and mother explain to Melle that grandfather Kapitein has become ill. That you don’t see it in him, but that he can hardly remember anything and forgets a lot. Grandpa can no longer look properly in his treasure room. Sometimes grandpa no longer recognizes people, sometimes not even grandmother. He can usually remember things well from long ago.
When they are with grandpa and grandma, Melle runs to the shed. Grandpa doesn’t recognize him. Grandpa says he is the captain and that Melle has to leave. Melle is startled and feels sad. Who could make grandpa better? He is comforted by his father and mother. No one can do anything about the fact that Grandpa has become forgetful. Fortunately, not everyone gets the forgetfulness disease. Melle also feels sorry for grandma. Two years later, Grandpa no longer lives at home. He lives in a nursing home because grandma is no longer able to take good care of grandpa. Melle makes a story treasury for grandpa. He pasted photos of Grandpa’s paintings into a viewing box. Grandpa does not respond at first, but then suddenly there is recognition and, just like before, his hands go into the air. That makes Melle so happy, with tears in his eyes, he sings the song that grandpa always sang for him.
The text
You will find text on every page. It varies from a few sentences to twenty sentences per page. If Melle or another person from the story says something, it will be printed in italics. In the story there is a song, in the beginning of the story it is sung by Melle and grandpa together, later in the story Melle sings it alone. It is printed in a large font. The writer has used medium sentences with simple words.
A fragment
Grandpa is staring straight ahead. There is a dustpan on his lap.
He strokes the hair gently, as if caressing Sailor. ‘Who are you, boy?
You can’t just come in here. This ship will be leaving in a minute. ‘
Is Grandpa kidding now? ‘It’s me, Grandpa. Melle! Take a good look. ‘
“I’m nobody’s grandfather at all, boy.
I’m the captain of this ship, ”grumbles Grandpa. “And now get out!”
The illustrations
The illustrations fill a double page. They are colorful and combine well with the text in the book. You see Melle with his mother on the train, Grandpa and Melle in Grandpa’s shed. You see many details such as the paintings of Grandpa and the map on which he indicated the destinations where he has been. In the drawing where you see Melle and grandpa with the deer, grandpa looks very cheerful and Melle is startled. In the last drawing, Melle and grandfather put their hands up in the air and Melle sings the song about the sea. Melle looks happy, Grandpa looks a little dazed out of his eyes. On the flyleaves you see attributes related to grandpa: binoculars, anchors, viewing boxes, cups, brushes.
Good explanation about dementia
The illustration on the cover of the book attracts attention: a boy with an elderly person in an armchair, floating on the sea. The title makes it clear that it must be a grandfather and a grandson and that forgetfulness is the theme of this book. An important topic because the number of people with dementia has increased fivefold. In 1950 there were 50,000 people with dementia, now (2020) there are more than 280,000. And over the next 25 years, this number will double to more than half a million, which can be read on the website of the Alzheimer Nederland Foundation.
It is difficult to explain to a young child what dementia means. This picture book is a great resource. The book consists of three parts: the period before there is dementia in grandfather, the emergence of dementia and finally an admission to a care home and dealing with a grandfather with dementia.
Clear examples explain how grandfather’s behavior changes. That grandfather is suddenly going to eat the bread that was intended for animals from the petting zoo. That sometimes only later the puzzle pieces fall into place and that a child also knows that things were not right. In the story, a good example is set by Melle’s parents. They talk to Melle at the right time.
Parents who read this book to their child can use the story to start a conversation with their child. It remains a difficult topic, but if a child understands why grandpa or someone else in the immediate environment changes in behavior, it can help with acceptance. It remains very difficult for both adults and children if someone with dementia no longer recognizes you, no longer knows your name. In children’s books this is sometimes omitted, but that is not the case in this book. Grandpa says that he has no grandson and that Melle has to leave. Nevertheless, it is good that this is discussed, so that a child (but also an adult) can prepare for it. It is important to discover with a child what you can please someone with dementia with. You can think of going through photo books, visiting places from the past, walking in nature or, for example, singing songs from the past. In the story, Melle herself takes the initiative. He makes a viewing box and with it he reaches ‘the treasure chest with memories’ in grandfather’s head. It makes it clear that every contact can bring so much joy. Although of course the sadness of saying goodbye to the person who was a grandfather in the past remains. The text is easy to follow for the target group, the beautiful page-filling illustrations complement the text and ensure that children remain fascinated.